Friday, August 19, 2011

Jesus &

Give it over to him … isn’t those words so much easier said than actually done? I will agree I think the same thing as you do, they are. I think if it was easy than everyone would be worry free. Worry free? Hmm wonder what that feels like? Did you know I read this blog the other day where a couple had been trying to have a baby for 8 months and they finally got to have a precious little angel and she died at 4 months old, 4 months old! I mean that’s so sad! I would much rather never have children than to have one and lose it. I think that would be the hardest thing to overcome. I pray lord will you please comfort that family and I don’t even know who they are or anything but my heart was so touched. Maybe the lord will just let them know that she is a little angel up in heaven.

I have been doing so good, well I think so anyways it could be a lot worse, it has been a lot worse. I am just trying to make it one day at a time. I hope that the lord sees my efforts of trying to get a better grasp on this situation. Every girl dreams of growing up, getting the holyghost, getting married, having a family, being able to stay at home with your family & eventually become a grandmother & just live such a happy life. I have such a happy life right now. I love Sam so much I just wish we had a family, a part of both of us. I think sometimes the lord just has to give me a baby because he knows how I feel and he knows my heart more than anyone. I wake up thinking about a baby, go through my day thinking about a baby, go to bed thinking about a baby, and dream about babies, it’s truly a desire of my heart. That desire even goes as far as I want to be able to stay at home and I raise my children instead of someone else I want that so bad in my life. I know the lord will give it to me if that’s in his plan I just pray that I can hold out until that time comes. It would be so much easier if he would be like “Kendra in 9 months you’re going have a baby” funny I know and to easy but it’d help a lot. I wouldn’t waste tears and worries… but I am sure I will be a strong person when this is over with. I know already I have looked at everyone else that has had problems and oh my lord found so many new friends going through the same thing. I just got to keep my head up! I will make it through it and eventually you guys will have a blog full of MY baby pictures instead of everyone else’s LOL

So Beth is 5 days away from her due date! I am super excited. My bag has been packed all week with comfortable clothes and this awesome shirt that I made to wear when we head to the hospital. Make sure you see the pics!

Front of my shirt
Back of my shirt

I went to Beth’s the other night and see the beautiful nursery pretty much done. I seen what all Beth was planning on bringing to the hospital… she had lots of dresses & hairbows and said we were “going to play” lol and I just can’t wait! We are planning on going to Shogun tonight… girls night… might be the last one with just us two… Anyways I will keep you guys updated with LOTS of pictures when Arie does FINALLY get here!

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