This weekend has been rough. I have made it months it seems like not having a “baby” breakdown which I am so proud of myself for that. However I knew eventually it would sneak up on me and I was so right. I would’ve never thought Halloween would be a hard holiday for me as it’s my favorite holiday but this year is so much different and my heart is so broken. I guess it all started on Friday when I kept getting text messages from all my friends letting me know they were going be bringing their babies to come see us. That’s fine I love children and I love love love my friends children. It’s just so hard for me and I didn’t think it would be. I just cried and cried cause I mean I want to take my baby trick or treating but I don’t have one to take, it really upsets me. I know it’s like poor pitiful me but I am not that way I promise. The idea of just sitting at home in the dark pretending we aren’t home so my friends won’t see me cry but that wont happy I’ll have my house lit up and a big smile on my face with my camera all ready for my friends children to come and trick or treat at kiki’s! Just please wish me luck cause I will need it, it looks like J
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